Does anyone know how to break a doorbell camera?
It needs to look like an accident, something my husband would never expect.
See, here’s the deal.
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My husband and I have an equal partnership. I cook, he does the dishes. I do the laundry, he washes the cars. I pay the maid, he pays the lawn service. I balance the checkbook, he doesn’t monitor my shopping habits.
After 17 years, I’ve realized it’s good to have a little mystery in a marriage.
Except now, I work from home, and that dang doorbell keeps telling my secrets.
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Every time it rings, he wants to know what got dropped off. Our dog is quite elderly, but I’m not sure how many more times I can get away with saying “pills for Earl” before he starts to catch on.
In reality, the package is more likely to be a set of absorbent turban’s to wrap around my wet hair or a decorative stainless steel band for my iWatch.
It could also be an expensive massager that my sister swears will alleviate knee pain, a set of dominoes, several boxes of Dream Whip (which our Publix no longer carries), several cases of V8 Sparkling Energy drinks (also discontinued by our Publix), a journal to track my eating habits or a loose, comfortable dress to wear because I haven’t been faithful with that journal.
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I’d like to blame Amazon or my smart phone or the incessant barrage of emails I get daily from every store I’ve visited since my 20s. Alas, this is all on me. Shopping was a lot less convenient — and less frequent — when it required a shower, makeup and getting in the car.
Now all it requires is internet access.
I don’t have a problem. I can stop anytime. But that velvet blouse I looked at in October is now on sale. It would be a crime to pass it up. Plus, my mother’s secret cake recipe calls for a packet of Dream Whip. What if there’s a last-minute need for a birthday or wedding cake?
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To be fair, the husband likes Sparkling V8 Energy drinks as much as I do, and I got the dominoes so we could play them together. Which we did. Once.
So instead of kicking my shopping habit, I’ve decided to get rid of the real problem: That dang doorbell.
Which brings me back to the original question. Does anyone know how to break it? Remember. It needs to look like an accident.
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This article originally appeared on Florida Today: Suzy Fleming Leonard: I’m not kicking my online shopping habit; best to hide the evidence